My personal experience

 It all started when I was in 6^th grade. I was always an outgoing kid who loved to have fun and laugh but by the time I was in sixth grade I realized that, that outgoing fun loving girl was gone. I stopped hanging out with friends and I would spend hours up in my room all by myself just staring at the wall feeling completely helpless. I would often times cry myself to sleep. For me this was frustrating because I had nothing to be sad about. Compared to a lot of people I had a really good life. There was nothing that I could do to fix myself because there wasn’t anything causing this terrible sadness. Everyone noticed a change in me including my parents. They were concerned so they told me that I should go and see the school counselor. The next day that’s exactly what I did. I set up an appointment and I met with the school counselor. I told her everything, and she came to the conclusion that I most likely had depression. I have never heard of depression, I had heard of people being depressed but never depression. She explained to me that depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain which causes you to be moody, emotional, sad, suicidal, anxious, and angry. I was amazed because I had every single one of the symptoms that she listed. She told me after our visit that I should go to the doctor. I told my parents what she said and they immediately made me a doctor’s appointment. After I went to the doctor I was diagnosed with Clinical depression. Later I was put on medication. And I finally felt like I would be ok and that this enormous amount of weight would be lifted of my shoulders but it wasn’t. At first I noticed a little change in my mood but then it went away and I was back where I started. I told my mom that the medication wasn’t working so she made me another doctor’s appointment. My doctor told me that it would help if I went to a counselor; she also gave me a higher dosage of medicine. Not long after my visit with the doctor I went to see a counselor. For a while I was doing better but then I started to go down hill. I got so frustrated because I felt like nothing was going to work. I thought that the only way to get rid of my depression was to kill myself. I was also filled with extreme guilt because I felt like I was putting my parents through hell. I could tell that they were worried about me and that made me feel really bad. I talked to my counselor about how the medication wasn’t working anymore she suggested that I make another doctors appointment so I did. When I told my doctor what was wrong she decided to switch my medication which ended up being a bad thing. The medication worked for a while but then it ended up causing me to have panic attacks and made me even more suicidal than I already was. I ended up getting off medication completely. I continued to see my counselor and for about year or two I was doing great. However I noticed that I was really anxious all the time I never even wanted to leave my house. It was like I put myself in this protective bubble but what it really was were my own fears and superstitions holding me back from living life to the fullest. I mean I always had a problem with anxiety but it was never that bad. I told my counselor what was going on and she suggested I go back on medication. I debated about it for a while and decided that it would probably be a good idea to go back on medication. This time I went on a different medication that was specifically for anxiety problems. This medication ended up working for a little while but like all the others it slowly began to stop working. Later that year I ended up getting a new doctor she prescribed me to a different medication. After I started the medication I only noticed a small change so my doctor told me that I should get a psychiatric evaluation. Later on that week I ended up making an appointment with a psychologist. She asked me a series of questions and we talked for about an hour. At the end of the session she told me that I did still have depression and I also had OCD also know as obsessive compulsive disorder. That explained where all the anxiety was coming from. She also told me that I should have a high dosage of the medication that I was on. My doctor spoke with the psychologist a few days later. After their discussion I began to take a high dosage of my medication and turns out it worked. For the first time in a long time I felt ok. I am happy to say I have come along way since I was first diagnosed with depression. Depression will always be a part of my life but it no longer controls it.